Carlos "Chooch" Ruiz was suspended for 25 games for testing positive for Adderall.
More like Subtracterall. Because that's what Major League Baseball should do to his salary.
Subtract it all.
Ruiz's felonious decision to use drugs for which he had no prescription or other legitimate use let down his teammates. It let down his coaches. It let down the GM, Ruben Amaro. It let down the fans.
Most importantly, it let down the children.
Children are the future of the country. Without the children, we are nothing.
This is why Ruiz should be banned for life.
Really, he should be put in the stocks where the children he harmed can hit him with sticks and produce, but as that's still illegal in most of the country, baseball will have to settle for a lifetime ban.
Why should drug users get more chances? They knew the rules before they popped the pills, and they did it anyway.
Ruiz flagrantly disregarded what makes baseball great: the level competition and the knowledge that everyone on the field is as natural as a $22 Whole Foods chicken rather than a pumped-up freak like they have in the NFL.
When a man betrays his country, his country puts him to death. Why should Major League Baseball not take the equivalent action when a man betrays the greatest game there is?
Ruiz's decision to consciously undermine the integrity of baseball is no different from Julius Rosenberg passing secrets to Soviet Russia, from Herbert Hans Haupt spying for Germany, from David Herold helping to assassinate President Lincoln, from William Bruce Mumford tearing down an American flag during the Civil War.
Carlos Ruiz is no better than these traitors and seditionists. He should not be allowed to despoil the grass in Citizens Bank Park or any other American baseball stadium ever again.
@rsaggiadi I figured *someone* on the Internet needed to take a break from jokes and get down to brass tacks on how Chooch hurt America.